23 February 2010
Don’t Assume!
Posted by Moss under: Business .
You are not that smart, insightful, or intuitive! You don’t always understand with accuracy what’s going on with other people. You may think you do but you may only be assuming or making up a false interpretation.
When trying to understand your partner’s behavior and thinking, its important to do something other than to guess. You need to observe and ask. Notice if you are feeling annoyed or judgmental. What assumptions are you making? When you don’t really know the facts, don’t make up a story and assume the worst. Take a moment and check tings out with your partner.
“I’m noticing something and want to check it out with you. You seem very quiet and distant this morning. Are you bothered by something? Have I done something to bother you? Or are you just absorbed about something?”
Then, listen and probe. See if your partner is struggling about some issue. Be empathetic and put yourself in his shoes. Be respectful of this thoughts and feelings. Sometimes you may be a great resource and comfort by making this kind of connection. It shows that you care.
Bottom Line
- We make up stories.
- We believe our stories.
- Most of the time we are wrong.
- Be smart and check things out.
- Don’t feel in love with your assumptions.
