For example, when your partner confronts you about your behavior during an earlier encounter and says something like the following, how do you respond:

“You may not like what I am going to say but I want to give you some feedback about how you responded to what our team was saying to us. You reacted with anger and impatience when they expressed concern about our decision to postpone the new marketing initiative. You came across as defensive and argumentative. Was that your intention? Are you aware of the negative impact that had on the discussion? Was it okay with you when our team shut down and stopped communication?”

Bottom Line

• Do you listen and remain open to the feedback?
• Do you argue about what you are hearing?
• Do you acknowledge what you are hearing and seek to find ways to re-open discussion?
• Feedback may be uncomfortable to hear. Try to rise above your defensive reactions of right and wrong and see if you can better tolerate and understand what you are hearing.