7 January 2010
Before, During and After
Posted by Moss under: communication .
If an upset, problem, or crisis is brewing, when is the best time to talk it over? Most people and partners may say they should talk about problems before they actually hit. That makes sense except for the fact that they may not see what’s going on until it’s too late, when the storm has already hit them.
To be effective in dealing with negative circumstances, partners need to figure out the answer to two questions:
- How do they talk about it?
- When to actually have the conversation.
I’ve already touched on the how question: talk straight, listen and acknowledge, seek to understand, share perspectives, determine root cause, problem solve, and learn from the experience. Be hard on the problem and do what’s in the best interest of the partnership.
So what about the timing question? The best time to talk can be:
- Before: anticipate, prepare, think about options, rules, and benefits.
- During: crisis management, manage emotions, acknowledge upsets, call a time out, don’t let emotions rule the day.
- After: debrief, analyze what happened, assess the costs and consequences, learn something, plan for the future.
Bottom Line
- Partners need to develop the skill to anticipate, manage the crisis, and learn from experience.
- Poor or victim partnerships attack and blame. They don’t learn much for the better.
- Good or navigating partnerships know some conversations may be difficult but they choose to engage, talk it out, problem solve, and get stronger in the process.
