18 February 2010
Skillful Discussion
Posted by Moss under: communication .
Do you remember the story of Goldilocks and the three Bears? Something was either too hard to too soft, too hot or too cold, or too big or too small.
Partners can get caught up in this either/or stage particularly when they talk too much or listen too little. Many meetings are characterized by a lot of talking, advocating, or challenging and little listening, healthy challenging, and checking things out. The result: no agreement, frustration, and lack of clear direction. Skillful discussion is a discussion method that helps partners reach a shared understanding, make a decision, reach agreements, and set goals.
There is an intention to use discussion and meetings to improve the quality of the partners’ thinking processes. These discussions involve five key processes:
1. Clarity about intentions. “What do I want from this conversation?”
2. Balance talking with listening. “Here’s how I see it, what’s your view?”
3. Build shared meaning. “What are we really talking about?”
4. Use self-awareness. “What am I thinking or feeling?”
5. Explore holdups. “Where are we getting stuck?”
Bottom Line
- Clarify your intentions.
- Work to mutually explore an issue.
- Use a combination of advocacy and inquiry to enhance understanding.
- Stay focused on the agenda.
