8 September 2009
How Navigators Communicate
Posted by Moss under: Relationships .
Research indicates that most people understand only 40% of what another person is saying. On that basis, we just have to repeat the same message 2 ½ times to really get our points across.
I recently gave a talk entitled “How Navigators Communicate: 15 keys to get your point across. Here is the list for your convenience:
- “Go to the balcony”-gain perspective from the other person’s perspective
- Listen effectively-“what I am understanding you to say is” (paraphrase what you hear) and then say “am I right?”
- Validate what your hear- “What you say makes sense from your point of view because…….
- Practice straight talk- “This is how I see the problem……”
- Don’t take things personally
- Don’t fight with someone else’s weapons-Think about your strengths
- Know your weak spots-your achilles heal
- Ask for feedback-Debrief the conversation-what worked, what didn’t work
- Surface the elephant in the room and seek transparency/be honest. An “elephant” refers to the issue everyone know is present but no one is talking about
- Keep the promises you make
- Focus on the circle of influence and what actions can be taken-not concern or worry
- Admit your errors
- Be there for others
- Don’t offer unsolicited advice
- Summarize what you’ve agreed and not agreed to
Actions To Take
- Listen more than you talk
- Get to your point sooner
- If you find yourself and the other person repeating your positions, simply say, “It looks like we have a difference of opinion. Where do you thinks we can go from here?”
- Acknowledge the other person more often
One Comment so far...
Eliza Burns Says:
23 July 2009 at 10:53 am.
I tried out some of these points with my husband when we were discussing an issue the other night. Really focusing on listening rather then waiting untill he stopped talking so I could made my point really helped me to understand where he was coming from. It also cut our disussion time in half and brought us to a peaceful conclusion quicker than normal. Thanks for the advice!
